Is it normal aging, or is mom losing too much weight?

Dad is spending so much time alone … is this OK?

Are my parents safe at home maintaining the house and climbing the stairs?

These are just some of the questions worried adult children ask themselves about their aging loved one. While making the decision to move your parent(s) into a senior living community may be one of the toughest decisions a family member can make, the good news is that most seniors find their quality of life greatly improves upon moving into an assisted living community. In fact, many say they wished they’d considered moving sooner.

But when is it time for assisted living?

There is no right age to move or best age for assisted living (the average age of an assisted living resident, however, is 87). It’s different for everyone. Sometimes, the signs are clear. A recent fall. A chronic condition or health problem that is becoming harder to manage at home. A physician recommendation. Other times, it’s not as obvious.

There are subtle signs that indicate your loved one could benefit from the lifestyle assisted living offers. Have you noticed any of the following changes?

Changes in Appearance

• Weight loss or gain caused by poor diet, difficulty cooking or shopping for food, reduced mobility.
• Personal appearance – Uncharacteristically unkempt and unclean.
• Signs of injury – Bruises or scratches may indicate a fall. Burns on their hands or arms may mean they are experiencing cooking challenges.

Difficulties With Activities of Daily Living (ADLs)

• Hygiene ­– Dirty hair may be a sign your loved one isn’t regularly showering.
• Bathroom – Incontinence is noticeable.
• Cooking ­­– Lack of fresh and/or pantry food often means cooking is a challenge
• Mobility – Watch how easily your loved one can get in and out of a chair. Observe how they are walking. Do they look shaky? Has there been a recent fall?
• Driving –– Declining driving skills and no access to transportation can lead to lack of independence, increased frustration and isolation.

Lack of Socialization

• Loneliness – Much less time spent with friends and family.
• Boredom – Not participating in things once loved. Frequently declining invitations.

Challenges Maintaining the Home

• Chores and home maintenance – Difficulty maintaining the house (cleaning, cooking, laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.).
• Medications ­– Inability to manage medications … mixing up or not taking prescription medications. Look for empty prescription bottles or bottles with no missing pills.
• Bills – Difficulty managing the household budget. Forgetting to pay bills.

Changes in Mood

• Depression – Signs include excessive worry, erratic behavior, uncharacteristic lack of interest in leaving the house or visiting friends.
• Lethargy – Unmotivated, lack of drive, excessively tired.

Memory Issues

• Confusion – Getting lost on walks, inability to recall names, repeating stories or questions may be normal aging, but they could indicate a bigger problem.
• Forgetfulness – Appointments, medications, important dates or events are missed.
• Poor judgment – Loss of reasoning skills such as being the victim of a scam.

How To Have the Conversation

There is no easy way to have this conversation with your parents or loved one. But avoiding it may lead to more problems – especially if safety or memory loss is a growing concern. By talking now, you’ll ensure your loved one is actively involved in the process with time to weigh all factors.

•  Do your research – Gather information on the types of  communities and services in your area. Ask about the available levels of care, the staffing and qualifications, as well as the cost and payment options.
•  Don’t wait until there’s an emergency – Making important decisions during times of crisis is difficult and may lead to choosing a community that doesn’t fit well.
• Include family members – Don’t go it alone. Include siblings and families in the decision-making process and the transition from home to senior living community.
•  Educate – Explain how senior living has changed over the years. It’s not just about support and healthcare; it’s about lifestyle, life enrichment and personal fulfillment.
•  Share and listen – Share concerns about safety and well-being. But make sure you also listen to them about their concerns regarding this change in their life.
•  Plan – Consider location, community type, levels of care available, amenities, services, and finances. Go on tours – an on-site visit will provide the “feeling” of the community that you all need to make the best choice.

Helping Seniors Live Their Best Lives

Helping loved ones make the decision to move to an assisted living community benefits them in so many ways. The decision to move can be difficult, but once the move is made, your loved one will soon experience an enriching, engaging and fun lifestyle that will make them wish they had moved sooner. And you can begin to enjoy the peace of mind (and sleep) that comes with knowing your loved one is healthy, happy, and receiving the best care possible.

Cascade Living Group is proud to manage high-quality assisted living communities across the West Coast. Contact us to learn more about how you can help provide your loved one with a life-enriching lifestyle in their senior years.